Eddie Murphy

This is the story of the day that Eddie Murphy tried to run me over with a cheviot. 

So I set out on the journey that would eventually lead to some pretty crazy things happening on Versailles Road.  If you have never had the opportunity to take a ride down Versailles road during a regular work week, you are missing out.  Well, here ya go.
It was late in the day and I hadn't had a chance to get my lunch yet.  So the thought of McDonald's was really pulling at the old tummy. I wasn't sure whether or not to go because it was already 3pm. and my day ends at 5pm so it really was more like an early supper then eating lunch. But I decided to hop into the Danger Ranger to head on out and get some food anyway.

So there I am driving the Danger Ranger outbound on Versailles road, headed up Cardinal Hill hill. I am just kind of in lala land when all of a sudden there is a gray Chevy car that looks like somebody just jump started it out of a junk yard, trying to figure out how he can make me join the other people laying in the grave yard to the right.  That's about the time I proceed to drive the Danger Ranger into the curb of the road trying to foil this cars plan of putting me six feet under on that beautiful afternoon.  Well, needless to say I am no longer in Lala land at this point.  I was in about to be dead, angrier then hell land. So this gray Chevy finally figured out that he was about to taste blue metal and decided to get back into its lane of traffic. So the Danger Ranger and I got off the curb and got back into normal driving mode. This is when I decided that I needed to let the driver of this car know that he had made a mistake and needed to watch what he was doing. So I proceeded to turn my head and say (if there are children you are reading this to, this is when you need to place your own words in the dialog) You Mother #$&%**%, When I noticed that this guy looked like he just stepped off the set of Coming to America with Eddie Murphy.

 He had the biggest white teeth I had ever seen. I know this because he was smiling at me!  He wore a black suit with a white shirt and a red bow tie.  The only thing he was missing was a little round hat with the African print all over it.  The first thing that crossed my mind was, is that Eddie Murphy. Well, it wasn't Eddie Murphy, but I will say that he had to be a fan of Mr. Murphy to dress like that. So at this point the anger I was experiencing was gone. All I could do is laugh and wave at him, while wishing him luck in his future movie career.
The journey isn't over yet.  I still hadn't made it to McDonald's.  While driving away I really could not believe what I had just witnessed. So obviously I am kind of laughing to myself about what just happened as I pull into McDonald's Parking lot.  So the Danger Ranger and I pull up to the intercom to order lunch when a person with a British accent said, would you like a frappe latte? This completely through me for a loop, because this part of Lexington,  is considered little Mexico.  It is not every day that you hear a British accent, then on top of that you hear this accent at a McDonald's in little Mexico. Laughter instantly ensues and an immediate look over my shoulder for the candid camera occurs. To much laughter to talk, so I don't say a word and just drive straight to the window to place my order with this mystical creature that works at McDonald's. To my surprise, there does not seem to be any sign of this Great white buffalo anywhere.  Neither window had anybody that spoke with this accent. So I grab my bag of food and continue on with my journey.

While driving back to work I encounter a bicyclist that looks like Adonis.  The man is cut from a stone. He is wearing a backwards hat, a white tank top, and an ipod on his arm.  My guess is that he stands about six feet four inches or so.  He is ready for anything, if an action flick broke out or a WWE event occurred in the next few seconds I would not be surprised.  But that is not even close to what happened.

While staring at Adonis, something to my right caught my eye.  It is a, no it can’t be, it is, it is a black midget that looks like she just stepped out of Jane Fonda’s video, Let’s Get Physical.  To say the least, it was impressive.  I was not aware that they made spandex in such small sizes.  This lady had everything going for her that Adonis had going for him.  They matched all the way down to the ipod on their arms.  Of course Adonis was not wearing spandex, but he was definitely in workout attire.  It is a crazy world when in a matter of 100 square feet you can see Adonis and Gary Coleman working out at the same time.  I am not going to lie, I almost had a wreak in the Danger Ranger while choking on my Coke from McDonald’s. As I pulled into my parking spot at work I realized that I just wasn’t prepared for all of the festivities that the day had in store for me.  So let that be a lesson to you boys and girls, never underestimate the oddity that is Versailles Road.